vivian stanshall

http://www.vivarchive.org.uk/

Ask yourself the question

I have taken the advice of a political leader and asked myself the question "What are you doing to prevent global warming¨,now wear a wooly  jumper and never travel anywhere without a hot flask of chocolate was my initial thought,this would at least keep me warm if an ice age suddenly hit earth on my way home from work,I then realised that this was not asking myself the question out loud,so I decided to ask myself this question out loud while travelling on the underground in London last night.I got some looks initially but soon it seemed to catch on after I asked myself some questions relating to the benefits of asking yourself questions in public places .Pretty soon every one was at it ,there was questions being fired in all directions and prompt responses too. Things got a little hairy when I asked myself a question outside the london psychiatric Hospital based in Fulham,there happened to be a group of students from this hospital outside having a break ,just as I was halfway through my response to a complicated answer to a question about nuclear physics one of then approached me ´´ can I ask you a question´´ she said
´´what another one ,because that opening statement of yours would fall in the category of questioning" now not wanting to get more pedantic I said no more.
Shortly after this the entire entourage of students came over and after a little consultation with the first student I was invited into the hospital.

Dental appointment

I had an appointment for a checkup with my dentist yesterday. I had the usual butterflies in the stomach feeling but after a few minutes I decided he was fine and let him have a look at me. sensing my fear he put me completely at ease reminding me that these days  feeling pain on the dentists chair was long since gone. Now true to his word the filling I needed to get passed without incident.It wasn't until I went out to reception to pay that I experienced the real pain. 100 Euros and medical cards not accepted. Now to my mind he had finished a job that I has started,It was a miniature form of a council job,I had made the hole all he had to do was fill it in.
I didn't get the taste of any precious metals in my mouth afterwards either.


 

Christmas misunderstanding

Yesterday my nine year old daughter said to me" Daddy I want a Wii for Christmas", "Are you sure that's all you want I said", "yes "came the reply,"fine"  I  said " why not go now ,never hold it in ,the toilet's over there oh and happy Christmas ". There was I thinking I got away lightly when the grave oversight of mine came to light.Well misunderstandings happen all the time when you re a parent. Take the case of the missing bag of chocolates and sweets left over from Halloween. Again my daughter approached me"daddy  will you help me look for my gigantic bag of sweets ,I cant find them anywhere".Well not wanting her to suffer any longer we got to work straight away,searched upstairs ,downstairs and every nook and cranny we could think off.This all turned out to be futile.No trace of the sweets.I felt good being able to help her out with such a task .Mind you we were never going to find these sweets as I had devoured all of them in a chocolate and sweet binge a few days before this.This last piece of information is purely academic and should not concern the reader .As Oscar once said "I can resist anything except temptation"

rainy days and mondays

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPmbT5XC-q0

Trick or treat

I decided to take cover from the trick or treat crowd this year and avoid the house altogether durning the peak trick or treat times,that being 6 pm to approx 10 pm.I sought refuge in my local pub and decided to have a bit to eat .Nothing could have expected me for the siege the pub came under from an army of trick or treaters.Now don't let anyone think I have anything against this custom, pagan as it may be,its just I wanted a break from it this year.Now these crowd came in without having gone to much effort to disguise themselves either other than a cheap mask and not much else in the line of Halloween wear.All they done was say "trick or treat" and then shove a plastic bag in my face looking for money,Now what ever happened to looking for fruit, nuts and things like that.In my day we were very please to come away with something exotic like say an orange or a banana. Not so with these crowd they were looking for cash without so mush as a song ,dance or something on the tin whistle .Any way it was beginning to look like the hand outs would eventually cost more than what the meal would cost and I decided to cut through the crowds and make a run for it .I ran  down the street  chased by dozens of kids screaming "trick or treat" at the top of there voices,Eventually I ran into a field on the outskirts of the town and hid up a tree  coming down at midnight to make sure the coast was clear.Next year I may have to leave the country for a country this custom is not practiced in that's if I can find one.

Wigs on the green

rrrrrhttp://ca.news.yahoo.com/350-years-irish-judges-throw-off-wigs-191018215.html

So there tossing them off after all those years. Irish Judges wont be wearing those distinctive looking wigs anymore  that thankfully I have never had to see up close .
There finally letting their hair down and relaxing a little. But is  all this a good thing ? They were distinctive looking and give the Judge an air of authority. I just hope that all this dress down Friday business doesnt mean that some of these Judges dont turn up in baseball caps t shirt and covered in bling and start handing out sentences.

BestFriends

Theres a new phenomena sweeping our nation these days. parents referring to their sons or daughters as their best friends,"oh ya " they say "we go everywhere together" We're 'not really like daughter and mother " they claim. really I say best Friends  ,well who pays then when ye go every where together, who provides the transport?Is it a case that at a restaurant when the bill is produced you're daughter who's thirteen whips out her credit card and absolutely insists on paying for everything, leaves a large tip and pays for the taxi on the way home as well.

The Drifters

I liked this song so much I became a roofer myslef.

Irish presidential race

Now lets hope it never get to that stage that Dublin does disappear and he can get on with the usual presidential duties

Irish presidential election

There is only one person that should be made president of Ireland and thats Senator Norris.  He is the only person for the Job. Apart from his fine rhetoric skills ,genial disposition and flamboyant flair the senator is the only person I know who has actually read the James Joyce Novel Ulysses and by all accounts actually understands it.
This Urban Novel is not an easy read but the Senator has become a world authority on it,many seek his counsel and then pretend they have read it . The significance of all this lies in a quote by James Joyce to Frank Budgen in 1918,Budgen being the author of "James Joyce and the making of Ulysses",what he said was "I want to give a picture of Dublin so complete that if the city suddenly disappeared from the earth it could be reconstructed out of my book"
Now For Dublin to disappear is not such an outlandish possibility when you consider all the natural disasters happening all over the world .
No we shouldnt be suprised to wake up some morning to find Dublin gone and a Field in its place.
Who are we going to call on to rebuild our city? ,we cant really rely on  the Builders or property developers in the light of how we all finished up after them.
No this time we are going to do things different ,we need the services of President Norris to rebuild our city . Now admittely things have changed since Ulysses was written ,like they wasnt any of those fast food joints around  and no Coppers face Jacks  then,but we can live without those anyway ya we would actually live longer without them literally. Dublin could be rebuilt to all it Georgian splendor with the help of our president
NO JOB TOO BIG NO JOB TOO SMALL

The scourge of Telemarketers

They ring you at ackward hours of the day trying to sell you stuff you dont need or want  or worse the other sort of cold callers who want to gain access to you pc and empty youre bank account of all its contents.
I was in a good mood this evening when a women rang me telling me I had a problem with my pc and she was calling to help.I told her I will be speaking in English for the first minute then switching to spanish for the second minute afterwhich I will be moving to a two minute stint of Chinese and rounding the whole lot off with a bit of mongolian ,I will then be going into a big oven for a further 3 mins comming out when I have gone golden brown,Dessert will be fresh Indonesian sprinkled with some pidgeon English.She hung up just before dessert I think and I havent had any calls since,but its early days yet.

Old Shoes

I had being looking at my almost three year old shoes  latley knowing the end was near for these two. I couldnt wear them when it was wet and the stitching had come apart in a couple of different places.It was my second pair of these particular type of shoes made from the finest Yak hide,ya I decided to give the cows a break for a while and go Yak.Shoes made from Yak hide are very popular in Tibet apparently,its all the go there.I got these pair on Christmas week 2008 and after a few home repairs I  couldnt deny it any longer these shoes had their day.I wanted to give them a decent and dignified end but where ?and how.I left the shoes quitely under the bed while I came up with a plan. I had taken the shoes out on a few dry days over the past few months but it only prolonged the agony the support was now going a I might as well have being wearing no shoes at all for all the protection I was getting.I put them quitely away again a few days ago,but imagine my horror when I came home to discover the two shoes in the bin,feet first in the air.They had being dumped by a member of the household.I looked on in horror and disbelief.This time I knew It was for the best.I tucked them in completely closed the lid and said goodbye.

When I heard the conversation was heading towards  women problems I knew it was time to step aside and make myslef scarce,but I never expected these  "womens problems" to involve a trip to the ATM and the problems to disappear with the purchase of a new pair of shoes.Following the purchase of these medicinal shoes a miraculous recovery from these "womens problems" ensued.I am having an idea to carry a pair of shoes at all time should I come upon any unfortunates to be suffering from such a malady.I have begun to recognise the symptoms now,a glazed look upon viewing a pair of shoes the more expensive the worse things get, a rant about how good all our lives could be with these shoes ,I have seen some women almost abandon their children durning the onset of this serious malady.I have no solution to this problem except maybe to delibrately set the fire alarm off in the shop by blowing smoke into the  smoke detector in the toilets and shout fire fire at the top of youre voice.

Lagging Jacket

Just purchased a lagging Jacket.Its looks so cosy.Pity to have to use it on an
inanimate object.Could a compromise be sought.I have an idea to sow some of it into the lining of my jacket ,they should be plently left over to actually use it for the purpose it was designed for.

Baby muscle building

A friend of mine who just had a baby was doing all the goo goo ga ga things you do when you have a baby .This baby was crying,yes this baby was no different to most babies. My friend proceeded to lift the baby up and down in the carry cot and it occured to me that as well as settling the baby he himslef was getting a fine bicep workout throughout all of this movement.

Housework

Added to my list of time wasting excercises Housework has to be top of the list ,but despite saying this it has its advantages.I would be of the school of thought similar to that of  quenton crisp who once said that after the third year of not cleaning the dust doesnt get any worse,like it comes to a plateau,stalemate.The dust sort of gives up and goes elsewhere.
Now yesterday I decided to stop short of the three years and tackle this somewaht dusty and untidy house of mine. Durning the course of this undertaking I was resting by the banister of the stairs having taken off my face mask when I noticed what looked like a handle amongst boxs and boxs of eighties records ,I moved the stuff in the way and to my astonishment discovered there was a door I couldnt remember ever seeing before.I know theres dust and theres dust but this takes the biscuit,I have heard of people loosing things like Business and things like that,I even know a friend of mine who once lost an aerplane but to find a room in a house I couldnt ever remeber being in before tops all that. With much effort I managed to open and enter the room .It didnt seem familiar to me at all .I wondered was it my neighbour who inadvertently put a door his side by mistake ,like a door where no door should be.But there was one big difference this room was spotless in stark contrast to life on the other side of the door.

overheard

Irate person"I dont want to come home to see a mess here tonight alright"
unrated person " fine just look the other way then when you get home"

Lone Travel

Travelling on youre own isnt too bad as long as you have someone with you.You see When I checked into one of those bargain basket hotels last week I thought  I was alone. to be cnd

Good to go

I  got stopped yesterday at a road block. The police women who came over to me told me in a very nice way that  my Tax disk was a few months out of date and what with only being able to view the back of the disk from inside the vechile I assumed she was correct. I was suprised to hear this and assumed the company I worked for must have forgot to issue the disk but she got on the radio and checked if the Vechile was actually taxed.She came over all smiles and said "youre Good to go". I was relieved said thanks and drove off.When I got home I noticed that it was actually taxed till next bloody year,April to be exact.She must have  read the disk wrong and thought we were in 2012.Now she really should have gone to specsavers.

May she be in peace Now

power walkers

Ya they are taking over our country and suburban roads in the evening times,groups of walkers violently swinging their arms in unison going nowhere and creating a breeze.Well I have an idea why not put them to good use and get them delivering stuff along the way.A power walking delivery service ,they get fit while someone else get stuff delivered to their letterbox.
It could be anything really newspapers fastfood menus  shop advertisements.
We´ll find use for these people yet

Change the Apron

Ya we got a fine day in the end for the BBQ. On the way home we stopped off in one of  those roadside garages. I had being here before  last week ,that time I asked for a chicken sandwich  and  noticed the girl in the deli counter had on what once was a white apron but when I was there looked like she had slaughtered a number of chickens that day alone ,The whole front of it was covered in , well I didnt get a close up but lets just say its wasnt white . I was looking at all this from the counter area which was just as well really .I got in to my vechile and ate the sandwich but at the back of my mind was that Apron.
But I got over all that and ate the beast and went home telling myslef that that she proberly was really busy that day and didnt have time to change her Hygiene wear.
When I went in today I simply got diesel and the guy behind the counter had an Apron  it was flithy aswell. Now there was no food involved this time but I couldnt help wonder if it was the same Apron never washed since last week and covered in a weeks chicken matter and whatever elese they do there.I dont know if I can trust these type of places any more and maybe  it be roadside BBQ´S from here on.

The sun will come out

Tomorrow

bar-b-q

Driving to a suitable location to have a bar-b-q but away from the cloudy weather I am currently under.checking in the weather satellite map to find a break in the clouds and ya we found one about one hour away due north.
If necessary we will up sticks and move again   if we have to but a bar-b-q we will have come hell rain or high water

Inner peace inner dignity

Every day is a chance to make contact with the Divinity within. I think that if I  do have any regreats when all this is over it will be why did I not do it more.I  cant see myslef regretting not having accumulated more material wealth or pursued things of that nature. Entering into a relationship with the Divine requires patience and practice,we are contacting a power that is pure Humility and understanding.We dont need to say anything really but this can be difficult.Staying in this presence without the inner diaglogue starting within a very short time.For some reason theres part of us thats just doesnt want to be there,its afraid ,it tells us this is nonsense,its a waste of time worse still its tells us we dont deserve any attention from our creator or on the other scale an anger with the Divine can emerge,why are there so many bad things happening in the world.We can be sure that the Divine mind understands and pleads with us to enter into  a relationship with her.It may be the case that the Divine mind needs us to become alive .
.

WU LYF

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvdFnINlN6Q

I lost a friend to Washing machine disaster

I never really had time for washing machines,I never understood what all those controls and knobs were for.
 But we had a fairly workable relationship down through the years,things remained simple between me and my machine someone once told me that setting the big knob to C and the leaving the temperture anywhere below boiling point would be fine.
Sure shirts changed color some jumpers lost there shape and became twice there size but this never really bothered me so long as they would still fit me in some shape or form. A shirt went from white to sky blue so what I effectively have a new shirt for free,If it came out different colours Great now I had a tie dye number

I recently was in the company of a friend who seemingly had basic knowledge of his washing machine controls like myslef but was not so philosophical as me ,not alone did his shirt change color he himslef appeared to change color when he took it out of the machine becoming what appeared to me to be
A shade of puce.Yes He and his shirt appeared to become the same color.I tried my best to save him with my washing machine philosophy and all that but it was no use .Philiosphy of no sort was gonna save this guy he just wanted his Shirt back .

minor infridgement of the culinary kind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw

Today I done some cooking.
Some of it was cooked and the rest not,leading to all sorts of problems ,mainely in the stomach area.

Overheard

mother:"excuse me have you seen my smallest one"
man:"what so small that you cant see it"

Areas of contemplation

Look for Areas of contemplation in youre everyday life.The result of contemplative energy is creativity.

Everything starts from nothing.

Be creative

the Art of silence

Silence

hiatus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4wKpPEjTrU